Friday, September 12, 2008

DVD Review - The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior


(I couldn't find any decent promtional pictures for this review, so enjoy this picture of Randy Couture beating some ass.)

You know you are in for some trouble when the only star listed on the DVD cover is a UFC fighter. No disrespect to Randy Couture, who could probably whip my ass with little effort, but there is no freaking way you could actually go into this with positive thoughts. It is a direct-to-video prequel to a lackluster box office film. What more can I say?

Well, my preconceived notions ended up being right on the money, not that I thought I would be wrong. The Scorpion King 2 is on par with any of those terrible features seen on the Sci-fi channel about giant spiders, snakes, or woolly mammoths.

Naturally, the movie begins with hero of the previous movie, Mathayus, during his childhood. Against the wishes of his father, Ashur, Mathayus goes to a set of games where new recruits are discovered for the Black Scorpions, the most elite soldiers of Emperor Hammurabi. A giant battle takes place against all of the hopeful children. Amongst the fighting, he finds his female friend, Layla, disguised as a boy. Girls are not allowed to join the Black Scorpions, and she is quickly made by Randy Couture’s character Sargon, the right hand of the emperor.

Just before Sargon punishes her on the spot, Mathayus jumps in to stop him. This angers Sargon and he sets his eyes on Mathayus. This causes Ashur to jump in and stop Sargon. All the fighting is ultimately ended by the Emperor and all is forgiven. The only catch is that Mathayus must join the Black Scorpions.

It goes without saying that Sargon is really evil and now holds a grudge. That night, Ashur dies from a magic cloud that covers him in poisonous black scorpions. It is clearly obvious who is guilty of the deed. After a small montage of Mathayus growing up during his years of training, the movie jumps to him being a young man. He returns back to his home and visits a ceremony to become an official member of the Black Scorpions. During the ceremony they are greeted by the current Emperor, Sargon, who has murdered Hammurabi to seize the throne. Everyone knows this, but what can they do?

During the ceremony, Sargon recognizes Mathayus and invites him to the palace. Despite the feelings he harbors, Mathayus declares his loyalty to the Emperor. His reward is a night with several of Sargon’s female servants.

Mathayus is once again called back to the palace the following day and is ordered to execute his brother for slandering the Emperor. He disobeys the order and kills all the guards, leaving only Sargon and himself. Mathayus discovers Sargon’s magical powers and he and his brother flee the city. A magical arrow, controlled by Sargon, kills his brother just as they get outside of the city.

The rest of the movie has Mathayus going on a long and pointless journey to find a sacred sword, get acquainted with old and new friends, and avenge the death of his father and brother. None of the story, plot holes included, is particularly interesting and the action is pretty standard fare. You know what you're getting into with a DVD like this.

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